So Deprived
by Jace22
Summary: REPOST Steve figures what happened only happened because Darry was so deprived. But then again, who really knows? SteveDarry slash, mentions of SodaSteve.
1. Default Chapter

So Deprived 

Disclaimer: I wish I owned 'em sooo bad. Sadly the amazing author S.E Hinton does…So I just get to think about the boys ** dreamy look **

A.N: The outsiders movie had such an awesome cast, I didn't stop drooling. Especially the Soda shower scene. I swear when he first gets out you can almost see **everything**. Shame they're all old now…although Matt Dillon looked really good in One Night at McCOOL's.

I'm proud that I hold this as the first pairing of it's kind ha! Go rare pairings!

Feel free to give constructive criticism. Just don't write saying "this pairing is impossible" it's a fanfic. Besides "Anything is possible".

EDIT Jan 22 2005- I was re-reading this story the other night, trying to think of how to write the final chapter after all this time, and I realized how much I've grown as a writer. I realized that some re-working was in order for these first chapters. I don't really have the time for drastic changes so it's not going to be completely up to par, but it'll be a slight improvement. I just was out of the fandom for so long and have been very bust lately. I'm in the process of writing the final chapter now and will edit these first four. Thank you to all those that were patient, and all that have reviewed.

Steve Randle has always tried not to think too much about things. Thinking about the things he does leads to regrets, and since he never regrets the things he does or the things that happen, thinking about them is out of the question. If he did think about them, things would just hurt, and Steve Randle doesn't hurt.

And he certainly doesn't regret what happened, even if he doesn't quite understand it. He still doesn't quite know why it happened. Then again, maybe on some level he does. Some very, very low level. Darry had been lonely and Steve had been kicked out yet again. Steve would deny being lonely though. He'd never admit to it even if the loneliness was consuming him. Lonely is another thing Steve Randle isn't. To avoid being even close to lonely he had headed over to the Curtis house like he always did. He didn't bring anything over anything but his DX clothes, because he figured he'd borrow a blanket and pillow like always, and he wouldn't need any other clothes. He got there and it was the usual routine. He had simply opened the door, walked in, and said "Old man kicked me out again" and no one had even glanced up. He spent the night playing poker with Soda and Ponyboy (they couldn't convince Darry to play. He'd wanted to get to sleep earlier because he'd had a hard day.) When Soda and Pony went to bed he was going to watch some T.V and then hit the sack. It was so normal, but that's how most strange thing's start he supposes.

That night he couldn't sleep, so he watched TV longer then normal. Steve figures that's when things went out of routine mode. Apparently he wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep. He heard someone walk into the room and glanced up.

"You can't sleep either?" Darry asked, his voice sounded tired.

"That's what thinkin' does to you." He had muttered.

He guesses he hadn't really made that much sense because Darry asked him what he meant. "Thinking. It keeps you up." He said.

"Well now, I think that's the most profound thing I've ever heard you say."

"Usin' ur big words to try to make me feel dumb, eh super…man?" He'd stopped himself before he said dope again.

Darry gave him a cool look and had said, "Saved yourself there didn't you? Lucky for your jaw."

After a moment of silently watching TV that had become extremely dull, Darry asked him, "What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing important."

"Meaning?"

"My family. What kept you up?"

"That's important." He said quietly, avoiding the question.

Steve merely shrugged, "I guess, and answer my question."

"My family."

Steve felt guilty, even without thinking about it too much. He looked over at Darry who'd turned back to the TV. The guy had grown up too fast. He looked more tired than he should at twenty, and Steve wondered when the last time he'd gotten laid was. He hadn't seen him out on a date since right before the accident. He wanted to ask Darry if he thought one day he'd get married. That'd be trending grounds for a deep conversation and Steve wasn't into that stuff. He did wonder about Darry though, how he went so long without being with someone, anyone. He wasn't bad looking, in fact he was pretty good. Steve had never really thought about it before since he hung out with The Girl Magnet—Soda—all the time. Darry was pretty deprived he guessed. He made sacrifices. Maybe he was even stronger mentally—and physically—then they all thought.

He decided he'd try a question that sounded…careless. "How long's it been since you got laid?"

"That's a strange way to change a topic."

"I wasn't tryin' to change the topic."

"Trying to get back at me for the profound remark?"

"No. I guess, judging by how defensive you are, that it's been a long time." Steve said in his usual flip, taunting way.

Darry just looked at him in a strange way "I guess it has…" and then Steve remembers the weirdest thing happening. Darry was suddenly kissing him. It wasn't one of those soft 'romantic' kisses. It was rough, hard and hot. He kissed him on his lips then around his jaw. Steve was surprised he didn't struggle. He had a vague recollection of sitting there in shock for a moment then kissing him back. He was kissing Daryl Curtis. It had to have been the strangest night of his life. He was surprised at how much it didn't bother him. He knew it should have, it was wrong. This was Darry. Neither of them was gay. It was just because Darry was deprived he decided. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't convince himself to fight back or that it was wrong enough to stop.

At the same time Darry kissed him he ran his hand down his stomach and slipped a hand into his pants. Steve's eyes widened and then fluttered shut as he got used to the sensation of having another male jerk him off. It was strange since he was used to girls soft, small hands wrapped around him, or even his own, but he wasn't exactly opposed to Darry's calloused, strong, and definitely experienced, hands. Steve felt like he was going to explode but Darry pulled his hand away before he could. He didn't remember when their pants—or the rest of their clothes for that matter—came off, but they had. He had looked Darry over a bit. All muscle. Steve was surprised by how turned on he was by this. Steve was still aching and was glad when Darry finally turned him over and started fucked him hard while simultaneously stroking Steve's arousal. He had a blurred memory of Darry telling him it was going to hurt at first but it would stop soon. He was right, it had hurt at first but after a while it felt amazing. He didn't have to worry about all the things he had to with girls. This was just hard and rough, how he liked it. Steve vaguely thought about how girls must feel. They always were this way, the ones being fucked, never the ones fucking. At least not like guys could. He wanted it to go on for a long time and was disappointed when it was over. Steve was surprised by how much he had enjoyed that. It was weird to have someone in him, especially Darry.

After they were done they stayed where they were for a moment.

"Ok?" Darry asked quietly.

He was rough but not cold. Steve nodded and wondered if Darry could tell he was nodding because of his position, so he flipped over and faced him. "For someone who hasn't done that in a while, you're pretty good." He said trying to cover up for how awkward he felt right then.

Darry pulled off him and Steve turned to face him. Darry looked at him with amusement, "As long as you don't start talking about feelings, I don't really care about what you say."

At first Steve wasn't sure if he was kidding or not, but he decided he was. He just wasn't really that used to that. Darry did look happier than he had for a while.

While Darry began to dress himself Steve started thinking. Maybe Darry hadn't wanted to be with any girls for a while…maybe he only liked guys. That was too weird for him to think, though. Darry wasn't gay. Neither was he. Maybe he was bi? Or just curious? It didn't feel wrong. It was supposed to be wrong, and it wasn't exactly something he was going to talk to Soda (or anyone) about the next day.

Darry gave him a sly grin "You're a good little fuck Steve."

"Fuck off."

"Just did thanks to you. Maybe now I'll be able to get some sleep." He went and headed off to bed without saying anything else.

Steve almost wished he had been able to put his question into words. He didn't quite get what had happened but he didn't dislike it. That was what almost bothered him. Almost. Things like sex didn't bother Steve Randle. It hurt him to think about these things that didn't have answers yet. He didn't like when things hurt him. He decided to try to clear his mind and hold out on thinking about these things. Things wouldn't penetrate through his barrier. After all Steve Randle doesn't let things get to him.

Revised it a bit, and am finally working on the last chapter. I'll post the next ones again soon. By the way, this was reposted since my old account was deleted.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own the awesome characters…if you think I do please proceed to the nearest mental institution.

Thanks to all my new reviewers. I really appreciate it guys. Sorry this took so long. Life just got in the way.

So Deprived: Chapter Two

He wasn't expecting a second time. He wasn't expecting he'd be the instigator. It was strange for him to think back. He was surprised by some of the things he did, but then again people usually are. You can never tell what emotion is going to overtake you…or what thought is going to pop into your head that you just can't ignore. It's thoughts and feelings like these that can mess things up or even make things right. Things just aren't going to be the same after these kinds of thoughts and feelings. Maybe it's because it's not in your normal personality, not something you would normally do, so therefore it causes things to not _be_ normal. Like some sort of law or life or something. Steve decides to stop thinking about this because it's too strange, too deep. Steve is smart despite what people might…no scratch that. He's smart despite what people definitely think. He kind of likes that though. He likes proving people wrong and going against what they're thinking. It gives him a thrill of sorts.

If he's going to blame what happened on anyone besides himself—maybe even Darry--it would probably be Ponyboy and Johnny. The two morons had decided to run away and had the whole gang worrying like crazy. Dally was probably the only one who wasn't worried. Sure at first they could think he was just hiding it, but after Soda told him that he was sure Dally knew where they were, he thought differently.

It started that frantic night after they left. The two morons ran away…no…he takes it back. They weren't morons; he was just angry about the outcome of their departure. Johnny he could understand maybe; although, he still wouldn't want Johnny to leave: none of them would. He was an essential part of their gang, and it was a miracle they were still ok even after his death. Ponyboy though…how could he leave? Darry and Soda love the kid. How could he just leave after all they do for him? Ponyboy didn't want to be a burden, and Steve understood that, but that didn't mean he could just leave like that. He's lucky he has family who cares and not a father like his. It just frustrates him because of how crazy it was, especially after he saw what a wreck Soda and Darry were that night.

Steve headed over to the Curtis house late that night after being kicked out yet again. This time his dad had just woken him up in a drunken, consciousless rage just to scream at Steve incomprehensively about how he was a lazy, no good, piece of crap. He hadn't really been kicked out, just on the verge of it. Steve just high tailed it out of there before he killed the asshole he called dad. He was pissed off and wasn't about to waste more time when he could be getting some more sleep at the Curtis house, or anywhere for that matter. He was exhausted and unprepared for the shock that greeted him.

"Are you sure he's not in the lot?" Darry asked in a strained voice.

"I checked there twice!" Soda replied

"Shit." Darry swore. "I've checked almost everywhere…I've driven around too many times to count. Where the hell does he get off taking off like that? He doesn't think! I didn't mean to hit him! Why didn't he just listen to me? He doesn't know how sorry I am that I hit him." Darry rambled and tried to keep calm all at once. Suffice to say it wasn't working nearly as well as Darry had probably hoped it would.

"What happened?" Steve asked, and Soda and Darry heads jerked around to look at him.

"Pony took off…" Steve could tell Soda was trying to avoid telling the reason for this. He glanced warily at Darry.

"He fell asleep in the lot while talkin' to Johnny, and I was mad as hell at him. I hit him. I hit Pony…" He said almost as if he didn't quite believe it himself.

"Does Johnny know where he is?"

"I think he took Johnny with him too." Soda answered quietly.

"What are those two thinkin'?" Steve asked shaking his head, and then realized what the answer was going to be. In his mind he said every word in unison with Darry; he'd heard his rants to Ponyboy before.

"They don't think! That's the problem. The fucking problem is that they don't use the brains that I know they have. The morons don't use their common sense, running away!"

That was before he knew the whole story, though. It was better that way anyway, Steve thinks that as he looks back. It was better to feel angry than guilty. That's why Steve's father was always paying him off; he could get off guilt free by dropping five bucks here and there. Anger was a much better feeling than guilt; it doesn't haunt you in that same way guilt does. When you're angry you can just not think, it's all about feeling and you just let loose—at least for him—but when you're guilty your mind is a hell that you can't escape.

Finally—with much reluctance—Soda decided to go to sleep since he realized that worrying the whole night wouldn't help get Pony back. He figured it would be a lot smarter if he was refreshed in the morning and could start looking for him. Darry on the other hand kept walking around the room, sitting down, then instantaneously getting back up again. He growled and paced, growled and paced.

"Soda's got the right idea," Steve said trying to sound convincing. He knew he was being selfish, but he really wanted to sleep and it was hard with Darry's antics, understandable as they were. "You really should hit the sack. It'll do you good."

Darry looked at him as if he were an idiot. "I can't even sit down let alone sleep."

"Try to calm down." Steve said, realizing too late how stupid and unrealistic that sounded.

"How to you suppose I do that?" He said skeptically.

This was when Steve had to go and make things weird again. He mumbled something along the lines of the cliché "I can help" and kissed him with surprisingly good aim. It was hard kiss at first because of Steve's powerful lunge and strange launch point (being the couch), but it gradually eased into a softer one that fit nicely. Steve compared it to a girl's kiss as it happened—which he thought was a girl type thing to do—and he thought it was just as good even if it was different. Darry's lips weren't as soft as Evie's were or any of his past girlfriend. Darry's lips weren't as strong/hard as the rest of him, but nothing about him was exactly soft.

Steve pulled off him after a minute or so and tried to gauge Darry's reaction. He studied his face as carefully as he could without Darry thinking he was nervous or something. He looked almost amused again.

"That's your plan?"

"Does it suit you?" Steve didn't know how he managed to speak like that when he felt so flighty inside. He guessed it was a reflex or something that came from doing it all the time.

"Fuck yeah." Darry breathed with an excited look in his eye that showed he was planning something. He pushed Steve towards his room, and Steve was just thankful he didn't carry him, which he probably could have. When they finally got into his room Darry shut the door behind them and was careful to lock it. He then looked Steve up and down and guided him to his bed. He started slipping off his own clothes, and Steve followed suite. Darry languidly trailed a hand down Steve's chest and gradually crept down to his thighs and then down to Steve's cock which at that point was throbbing because _damn_ if this whole experience wasn't weirdly hot as well as exciting and bizarre. Steve wondered if that was his idea of foreplay, and if it was, it was a very good one…a very _very_good one. Darry slowly took the aching member in his mouth and put the whole length in with ease and begin to slowly and torturously suck him until he was dripping with pre-cum and quietly hissing and moaning. He hoped Darry wouldn't do as he had the first time and make him wait. Thankfully he didn't; Steve came hard, and he almost let a loud moan escape him before he caught it in his throat. Darry licked him dry and wiped off his mouth as he leaned up to kiss Steve.

"I'm calmed down now…" He mumbled quietly into his shoulder and closed his eyes.

"Glad I could be of some help…" Steve said trying not to ruin the almost-moment they were having.

"You can stay here…I'll set the alarm to go off a little earlier so…" he trailed off drowsily, knowing he didn't need to finish the sentence and also not quite knowing how to.

Steve felt relieved, and he nodded his head. He was glad he would finally get to sleep on a soft bed rather than the usual couch. He was also much too tired to move. He drifted off to sleep while his mind basked in the extreme pleasure he had felt just moments before.

Before he knew it, Darry was gently nudging him awake. Steve was a pretty deep sleeper and had a tendency to miss his own alarm. He had relied mostly on his internal clock to wake up in order to get to the Curtis house to go to work with Soda or to drive Ponyboy to school (saved Darry and Soda some time, and he was going anyway so it wasn't that big of a deal.)

"You sleep like the dead don't you." Darry said shaking his head and smiling. "How do you wake up in the mornings?"

"I rely solely on my amazing senses." He grinned sleepily and looked at Darry though tired, morning eyes.

"It's early so you have time to wake up…I wanted…" He stopped which was strange to Steve because Darry didn't seem like he'd be afraid (if that was even the right word) to say something.

"What?"

"Am I a replacement for Soda?" Darry asked more bluntly than he had probably intended.

Steve blinked a few times. That had sure done the trick of waking him up. "What are you talking about?"

He sighed "You know what I mean." He obviously didn't want to have to say what he was thinking. Soda was the gorgeous movie star looking boy that caught everyone's attention.

Steve gave him a lopsided grin and said "Well you are a bit old but you still got it. You're a pretty good bargain…"

"Don't be flip." Despite his mock angry tone he seemed relived of the tension and unease he had been radiating.

"Sorry." Steve tried not to grin and failed.

"You ain't sorry!"

"I'll make it up to you…." Steve suggested and gave a tentative grin.

He tried to use what Darry had done the night before as a guideline. He slid his hands around Darry's nicely muscled torso and ran his tongue down his stomach and into his thigh region. He licked tentatively around there until finally trying to take as much of Darry in as he could. He had never done this before, and he felt extremely strange. He wondered how Darry had done it with such ease and then suddenly realized he didn't want to know. He hoped it was just a natural experience; it bothered him to think about Darry with another guy. It didn't bother him about girls but for some reason Darry doing that to another guy bugged him. Really bugged him. He sucked on him and ran his tongue around him while he did. Darry seemed to like what he was doing and ran his hands through Steve's hair and moaned softly. Steve took this as encouragement and gained confidence as Darry pushed his head onto him more. Finally Darry began to come, but Steve couldn't swallow half as much as Darry had the night before and more got on him then he would have liked.

For some reason this cracked Darry up, and he had to stuff his face in the pillow to muffle his laughter so it wouldn't wake Soda up. Steve wondered when the last time was that he had seen Darry laugh this hard. Not for a while, that was for sure. Finally Darry regained control of himself and turned to face Steve again. "That was a very good first try, and I'm assuming that's what it was."

Steve nodded and grabbed some tissues from the nightstand to clean himself up. He was glad he wasn't wearing a shirt so no stains would be left. Darry helped him wipe it off and tried to say with a straight face, "you swallowed a lot more than I thought you would. I thought it would get everywhere and you'd have a face full of it."

Steve grabbed a pillow and through it at him. "I'm going to go now before this turns into a _slumber_ party." He emphasized the slumber because it sounded like the most un-masculine thing. No matter what the sentence structure if the words Darry and slumber party were in it, he would laugh his head off for hours. Two-bit would probably join him, and they'd just keep each other going for a long time. Steve grabbed a pillow and went to go lie on the couch till someone showed up at the Curtis house looking for breakfast or news on Ponyboy.

Before he left he said "I'm sure Ponyboy's ok. He and Johnny may be stupid but they're not idiots." He hoped it made as much sense out loud as it did in his head.

"Yeah. Ponyboy'll be all right."

After thinking about this for probably the millionth time Steve just realizes that Darry only said Ponyboy would be all right. He was right.

Hope you liked! R/R please! I'll try to update fast (ish) I have other fanfiction I'm working on (I've started chapters already) some are scattered in notebooks and I have to type up etc…I write multiple chapters at a time lol also im working on a book so ra. Want to be published young XD ok I won't rant here just a heads up! I won't take FOREVER though. I hate when that happens Read my other fic Time Travlin Terry please and review! MWA!


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